Worship

When I was in high school
I remember being taught the difference between
raising your arms in worship,
like when you're being arrested
or robbed,
or holding your hands face up,
like someone is going to give you something.

Arms raised meant surrender.
And for some reason,
it stuck with me,
that arms raised was the better way to worship...
maybe my 17 year old self
felt like the teacher was emphasizing surrender.
Whatever the reason,
all my life,
whenever I worshiped,
I felt like I wasn't quite doing it right
unless my arms were raised.

Writing this now,
I realize how this sounds.
And what it says about me...
that I want to do things the right way.
The correct way.
And what it says about the Church
and how we teach our youth.

And then,
on our last Sunday
at our church in California,
I felt like God said:
it's time to receive.
Hold up your hands,
palms up,
and let me give to you.
I've seen your surrender
and now it's time to receive.

But isn't being a Christian about surrender?
Aren't we supposed to lose our life?
Don't we have to give up everything?

We surrender, in order to be apprehended by Love.
We lose life, in order to find it.
We give up, in order to receive.

And so,
there are times of giving up
and times of receiving.

And there is no one right or correct way to do either,
with arms raised or palms up,
it is worship,
and freedom.

As I've considered finding a church this week,
I realize
that receiving
what a body of believers
may have to give,
is a gift of mercy.
As we come,
just ourselves
and surrender to a new place,
we are ready to receive.

With palms up,
I lift my hands,
to receive what He has to give.
Life and love and hope and strength and mercy new every morning.

Definitions

I've thought:
why go to church?
It isn't what makes me a Christian,
it isn't what defines us...
or is it?

Maybe it should define us.

We are told not to give up on meeting together as Believers.
We are told to remember the Sabbath and to keep it holy.
Not in a religious legalistic way,
but in ways that allow for meeting with other Believers
because we are waiting for our King,
and we believe in His will being done here
as it is in Heaven.
And so we meet to affirm that hope,
to affirm what we believe,
to affirm, just by showing up,
that we want in on what the Church has to offer.

And often what the Church has to offer,
isn't that appealing.
Just look at Church history.
And maybe,
look at your own Church history.

Whole races and genders and ages
have been marginalized.
We have disagreements with one another.
We don't include one another.
We truly hurt one another.

And still,
I think we should keep showing up.
Keep showing up
and gathering at the Table together.
For when we gather at that Table,
where the generosity of our King is spread before us,
we join the community of Believers,
in all our pain and hurt and dirt
and say that we affirm the hope,
we affirm what we believe,
we affirm what the Church
can be.

It is a raw, vulnerable thing to do,
when through the pain and hurt
we still show up.
And I believe it is because of
that rawness,
that vulnerability,
that intimacy happens.

And that's why I want to go to church:
I want intimacy.
With God.
With Others.
Because of Jesus,
and the generosity of His life,
causing me to live a generous, vulnerable life.

I bring the baggage of my Church history,
my fears and hesitations and trepidations.
I don't march into new churches with confidence.
Usually I'm full of anxiety and nerves.
I wonder if this is the place:
Will we fit in?
Can we belong?
Are we what they are looking for?

The answer is: I don't know.
And we can only be who we are.

Just a family
willing to show up
and affirm our hope,
affirm what we believe,
affirm what the Church can be.

May that be what defines us,
may it always be why we show up.

Sometimes, it just takes time. Or: Sunday only comes once a week

What I didn't give much thought to,
was how much time it can take to find a church.

We've wanted to give a church at least three weeks of visits.
A church, that is, that we could call home.
Why three weeks?
Honestly, because a friend once told me that I should give a church three tries.

I imagine that after three weeks
one would have a good feel for the church.
Maybe hear several sermons,
get a sense for the worship,
understand different ministries offered.

And.
Calling a church home does have some criteria.
It needs to have sound doctrine, teach the Bible, create opportunities for community,
and be socially aware.
(Which, by the way, does not mean they have ice cream socials.
Rather, social awareness includes social justice...
the deep conviction that the Kingdom of God
is here and now and that all believers of the gospel of Jesus Christ
are meant to incarnate that gospel,
be the presence of Jesus to all people,
ensuring that all are treated equally and fairly
in order that all people may taste and see
that the Lord is good).

Yeah, not exactly an ice cream social.

And.
We wouldn't mind attending the occasional ice cream social, too.

We want to be a part of community.
Live life with others.
Do life with others.
We want to be known,
held accountable.
We long to laugh and play and dig deep.
We want our kids to be loved and known, too.
We hope to find a place that believes that investing in their little lives
is one of the most important things they can do.

And.
Sometimes, finding all of that just takes time.
Especially when Sunday only comes once a week.


What kind of community do you hope to find in a church?

Finding a Church

I read a book,
a very good book,
not too long ago,
about the Church in North Korea and China.
It's on Kindle and paperback...you should read it.
It's called The Beloved Daughter by Alana Terry

And after reading this story
I recognize
the incredible luxury it is
to be able to shop for a church.

I sense my own entitlement issues
when I talk about what I want in a church,
what I need,
what our family needs.

I recognize how I judge,
how I lack humility,
when talking about the churches we visit.

I can't even believe I used the word "shop"
when describing looking for a church.

But I did.
Because that's often what it feels like.
We are shopping.
And we are entitled to have exactly what we want.
And we will look until we find it.

Oh, the Church.
Made up of imperfect people,
messy people
who mess up in a messy world.

People just like me.

And so,
as we look for a church to call home in our new city,
I'm convicted to approach any church body humbly,
knowing that no church is perfect.
And the only thing I'm really entitled to
is to try and love others well,
in hopes that I will be loved well, too.

Rather than first demanding that a church meet our list of criteria,
we want to see how we can serve in that place.

Then,
we long to be in a place where we are challenged in our faith,
strengthened in our hope,
refreshed in our spirit
in order that our roots will continue to grow down deep.

With humility and a desire to serve,
we seek that place where God would have us be.

This week I'll be writing about finding a church...
What do you think is important when looking for a church?