Definitions

I've thought:
why go to church?
It isn't what makes me a Christian,
it isn't what defines us...
or is it?

Maybe it should define us.

We are told not to give up on meeting together as Believers.
We are told to remember the Sabbath and to keep it holy.
Not in a religious legalistic way,
but in ways that allow for meeting with other Believers
because we are waiting for our King,
and we believe in His will being done here
as it is in Heaven.
And so we meet to affirm that hope,
to affirm what we believe,
to affirm, just by showing up,
that we want in on what the Church has to offer.

And often what the Church has to offer,
isn't that appealing.
Just look at Church history.
And maybe,
look at your own Church history.

Whole races and genders and ages
have been marginalized.
We have disagreements with one another.
We don't include one another.
We truly hurt one another.

And still,
I think we should keep showing up.
Keep showing up
and gathering at the Table together.
For when we gather at that Table,
where the generosity of our King is spread before us,
we join the community of Believers,
in all our pain and hurt and dirt
and say that we affirm the hope,
we affirm what we believe,
we affirm what the Church
can be.

It is a raw, vulnerable thing to do,
when through the pain and hurt
we still show up.
And I believe it is because of
that rawness,
that vulnerability,
that intimacy happens.

And that's why I want to go to church:
I want intimacy.
With God.
With Others.
Because of Jesus,
and the generosity of His life,
causing me to live a generous, vulnerable life.

I bring the baggage of my Church history,
my fears and hesitations and trepidations.
I don't march into new churches with confidence.
Usually I'm full of anxiety and nerves.
I wonder if this is the place:
Will we fit in?
Can we belong?
Are we what they are looking for?

The answer is: I don't know.
And we can only be who we are.

Just a family
willing to show up
and affirm our hope,
affirm what we believe,
affirm what the Church can be.

May that be what defines us,
may it always be why we show up.