Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Waving my hello to the future
The other day
I was driving my minivan full of kids
to a friend's home
and we went by the cemetery
where my grandparents are buried.
My children are still young,
and have no concept of dying or death,
but I said: my grandpa and grandma are buried here.
The comment was made for my own heart more than anything.
They've been gone so long,
but I miss them
I think I thought that the pointing to it,
the naming of their place,
would somehow position them in the lives of my little ones.
My four year old said: your grandpa and grandma?
I said: Yes, that's where they are buried.
And she said: Oh! I can't wait to meet them!
I'm silly sentimental when it comes to the topic of my grandparents,
and so my eyes filled and I said: they can't wait to meet you, too!
And then to no one but myself I said:
They dreamed of you.
I'm certain of this.
I'm certain that they prayed and dreamed and imagined the generation of families that would come after them.
They hoped for lives that would outlive their own.
I think of those people mentioned in Hebrews,
who did not know the future,
but looked towards it
and waved their hello,
their warm greeting of recognition
that we are family
and belong in the same home.
in my occupied life,
I am rather surrounded and under seige,
with the infinite thoughts and possibilities
of raising children.
Those thoughts range from how to keep them from screaming
to when I will find time to clip their nails.
And why aren't they eating their breakfast?
And who will fold the laundry?
How will I ensure they are honest? And kind?
Why don't they know how to spell their name???
It is daunting and frightening and the thought of dreaming for them is often pushed aside.
Because we need to figure out how to provide for them...
dreams will come later.
I want to start to hope for lives that will outlive my own.
I want to wave my hello at the future
in the little lives I have here in my arms and home.
I want to dream of more than potty training.
Here I am
directing my warm greeting of recognition
to a family and people I do not know,
who may not be my own blood.
We belong in the same Home.
How do you think this can be done? Comments welcome.