Tuesday, September 3, 2013


I'm trying to wrap my heart
around the changes.

Sophie-girl is sleeping in a 
big girl bed as of last Friday~
and I cried and cried as I put her to sleep.

She, of course, does not stay put,
but she also doesn't come out of her room,
and for now,
that's enough.

Baby boy is weaning himself
and I wonder if this is the last baby I will nurse.
I gaze into his big brown eyes
and gasp
at how he has stolen my
very marrow and sinew.

In only a matter of days
he will be one.
And sooner than that,
and going
and moving
and I'm just not ready.

I know he can't be baby boy much longer.

Leaves are falling,
as does the light earlier in the evening
and I hope I am ready for gray days ahead.

Last week Sophie-girl joked with me~
I mean really came up with a meant-to-be-funny response
and I thought: 
this two year old truly has a sense of humor.

And so, as days change
and shorten
and darken
and I struggle to catch up
and adapt
and stretch my heart to reflect
the altering of time and matter~
I reach for that girl,
I snuggle that baby,
I hold the hand of the one I love~
and I settle in
and down
and deep.

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