Changes

I'm trying to wrap my heart

around the changes.

Sophie-girl is sleeping in a 

big girl bed as of last Friday~

and I cried and cried as I put her to sleep.

She, of course, does not stay put,

but she also doesn't come out of her room,

and for now,

that's enough.

Baby boy is weaning himself

and I wonder if this is the last baby I will nurse.

I gaze into his big brown eyes

and gasp

at how he has stolen my

very marrow and sinew.

In only a matter of days

he will be one.

And sooner than that,

walking

and going

and moving

and I'm just not ready.

I know he can't be baby boy much longer.

Leaves are falling,

as does the light earlier in the evening

and I hope I am ready for gray days ahead.

Last week Sophie-girl joked with me~

I mean really came up with a meant-to-be-funny response

and I thought: 

this two year old truly has a sense of humor.

And so, as days change

and shorten

and darken

and I struggle to catch up

and adapt

and stretch my heart to reflect

the altering of time and matter~

I reach for that girl,

I snuggle that baby,

I hold the hand of the one I love~

and I settle in

and down

and deep.