Friday, July 3, 2015

Brokenness and Disappointment

When life isn't what you expected it to be.
And nothing ever seems easy or goes the right way.
You do all that you're expected to do,
Follow the rules.
Pray the prayers.
Lift your hands during praise and worship.

Life is not what you hoped it would be.
Autoimmune disease.
Children born with too many or not enough chromosomes.
Not passing that last board exam.

And we asked for relief.
For rescue.
For healing.
For freedom.

And it did not come.
Each month...
No child.
Each year...
More medical testing.
Each decade...
Still alone.

Add racism, sexism, pollution, slavery, AIDS, being gay, poverty, bankruptcy, inequality, marginalization, abandonment, unemployment, addiction, separation, overdue bills, drought, war, terrorism, accidents, death, mental disorders, childhood illnesses (meaning children with cancer or debilitating asthma), murder, and all other crimes...

For any of us,
none of life can ever be
What we exactly want.

It's all so broken.

We are so broken.

Can hope exist?
When it seems our deepest longings go unmet,
Our strongest prayers unanswered,
How can we hope?
How can we continue to desire and not despair?

When the end of brokenness only seems to be more brokenness.
And disappointment is your constant companion.

Standing alone at night,
Under a black sky...
No promise of a star of Bethlehem,
The prickly ice of anxiety, panic,
Freezes time and all you feel is stuck.
And shattered.
All at the same time.

How does one move forward?
How does one hope?
Please comment.


  1. I was reminded of His love for us in the midst of so much brokenness this week. I found so much comfort in Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts.
    "To read His message in moments, I'll need to read His passion on the page; wear the lens of the Word, to read His writing to the world. Only the Word is the answer to rightly reading the world, because The Word has nail-scarred hands that cup your face close, wipe away tears running down, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache, and whisper, "I know, I KNOW." The passion on the page is a PERSON, and the lens I wear of the Word is not abstract idea but the eyes of the God-Man who came and KNOWS the pain."
    I am clinging to this promise that He loves me in the middle of hurt and heartache. He loves me in the middle of my despair, in the places I hide from others, in the places I try to perfect but are only full of my imperfection. He's so personal. He's merciful. He's good. Because His Word says He is. Because it is in suffering that He brings grace. And grace overcomes suffering.

    1. Thank you...grace overcomes suffering.